Teenage Perceptions on Sex

Before reading this, please keep in mind that this document isn't saying that sex is bad; it’s saying that it's beneficial, but you have to read it in order to understand clearly. So please don't post: "Didn't read it, but all I know is that sex is a good thing."

Also, before reading this, please take into mind that I am a teenager myself; I am fifteen (when this was written) and will turn sixteen in a month (while submitting this to DeviantART, I was a little over a month into my sixteenth year). So I have come to these facts myself, along with many conversations regarding this topic with many people, and I hope to help many understand this topic clearly.

And please don't state a comment that is already discussed in this if you do not wish to read this. Reading all of it will make the entire theme much clearer to discuss if you wish to discuss it.

I. The view.

Inside a typical teenager's mind, who attends High School, a clutter of floating thoughts and various plans such as hanging out with friends after school drift throughout the day as they head from class to class. With so many things to do and people to see, adults are sometimes left in question as to where many are headed within the future—as well as the teenagers themselves. One common area of discussion for teenagers involves “losing their virginity” or, simply put: sex. Sex seems to be found in many of the normal conversations between many teenage students; it also remains continuously misinterpreted and categorized as “a gateway to becoming an adult”—which severely butchers the actual understanding of what sex is, and how it should be viewed. Although I may now seem as being stereotypical for categorizing all teenagers into the same group—which would also make me self-stereotypical, as I am a teenager myself. I, undoubtedly, understand that there are many teenagers who are far from being under the term “teen”; they are adults, in their mentality, their grasp of life, and their will to understand and learn. Spotting such an adult, who is seen as a “teen”, may be difficult—as many do not speak openly of their perspectives; there are many reasons why they would do so, in the stereotypical, ignorant, and selfish world that we live in—it would only be natural to do so; that however, is for another article. Keeping in mind the fact that not every teenager is as we see him or her, remember that when I speak of teenagers, I speak of those who are as I describe them. With regard to a majority of today's youth, views on sex are improper and misunderstood, and often lead to teens having sex at unnecessary ages with the wrong person. However, this is only a portion of all teenagers; not every teenager has these altered views, and not every teenager moves sex into the same category that many others have put it into. There are many teens that do understand sex as an action that is to be done at a certain time and not to be rushed just to make it seem like they're "mature" or "older". Many teens have sex just to have the ability to say that they're not a virgin when asked by their so-called "friends". Many of these viewpoints lead to not only that individual having sex at the wrong time with the wrong person; but that individual influences another person who may have sex just for show as well.

This chain leads to many teens having the wrong understanding on what sex really is. Many teens see sex to be something that is done just for one's own pleasure, to "fit-in", and to seem grown up. However, that is amiss and wrong. A big reason for teens having incorrect viewpoints upon sex is because they have incorrect viewpoints upon love—as well as the “friends” that they talk with and hangout with. Many of today's youth see love to be a casual thing, just “boyfriend/girlfriend” thing; a person that they can just kiss and have sex with. Too many teens confuse love with what it's really supposed to be; a person who loves you dearly and understands yourself to the core, a person who you can talk with about your viewpoints on life and your problems and troubles without having an unsettling feeling within yourself, a person who can understand and care for you and with whom you can feel safe, secure, and have hope for when things are going the wrong way in your life. Many teens seek a "girlfriend" just to have one so they can show off to their friends. And this not only leads to both individuals in the fake relationship having incorrect views upon love--but this can also lead to them having sex just to show their own friends that they've had sex. And a big negative impact of this is that many teens disregard drugs and alcohol to be unsafe. They can go to a party and drink or take drugs and then have sex with their so-called "girlfriend" and can possibly get them pregnant without using condoms.

II. The depth.

There are teens however, that do see the true meaning of sex and love itself. For them, it's quite easy to distinguish between what others perceive each to be and what each truly does mean. Someone who has experienced true love for what it is--without going out searching for someone, can easily tell you that many teens have the wrong perception upon love. They talk to their partner about how they feel; about themselves, about life, and about their interests and love for their partner. Then, not only does the individual him/herself see that they are headed on the right path and have the right perspective towards love and life; but the love that is shared between both individuals allows both to see the truth and see the beauty in it. And that itself can be a great feeling which can allow both to love each other more; romantically and passionately for whom they truly are; not what others want them to be or do. Then, such a driving force can be a great benefit and influence to both individuals and to society itself. Both individuals feel the driving force and love each other with such great warmth and beauty that they do understand that it's true love that they feel; even conversing with each other about marriage and being with each other for the rest of their lives. This serious relationship allows both to see, and to believe that life is everything that is good; as long as you see the good and can distinguish from the bad. And then, both individuals recognize sex as something that brings both of them together and closer; and allows themselves to possibly become more open or affectionate--bringing about a greater influence upon each other. It is then that sex isn't something that is done just for show or to "fit-in"; but it is something that is a great driving force between two true people that love each other for what they are inside, not who they can “act” to be around people in hallways within High School; and they truly love each other for that. It is done with actual meaning and love—instead of just a “hit and run” scenario—for each other, not themselves; for the love that both partners feel for each other. And it is then that love can be a great thing that is what it's truly meant to be--and then both teens realize the truth of love even more, as well as the beauty in love.

Many perceive love to be something that you feel for someone entirely physically. This is incorrect, as many teens confuse true love with something such as lust, looks, or sexual interest—searching for someone that has better sexual appeal to them, or as they can tell their friends: “a bigger bottom”. However, physical sight can be a part of true love; but physical means is not all</u> that true love is about. For these teens that believe physical means is all that love seems to be about, love is a bad driving force. As it isn't love at all; but merely what they perceive love to be (also, for teens who seem to believe that physical means is all that is in love, that belief can lead to the male touching the female when she doesn’t want it, which can also lead to sexual abuse and possibly rape). For these individuals, bad influence is given to whom they are with and perceive to "love"; when they don't even understand the other individual for whom they are to the very core of their hearts. This gives both individuals a bad understanding about love and life; and can lead to sex which is done in a way that isn't what it is supposed to be—and is commonly hesitant before taking action—and later on resulting in one partner (or even both) telling their friends about it for show. And then this bad influence and understanding of love and sex spreads like a disease to other teens with wrong understandings as well. This chain reaction can destroy society very quickly; unless people that do</i> know what love and sex truly mean explain both in great detail to others about what each is.

III. The conception.

A misunderstanding of love can lead teenagers to the wrong path in life; and later on it can deal a great amount of damage onto their life. It can destroy their education and can be a recipe for disaster within their life. The parents of the teenager can take some blame for this. Many parents deal with sex as a "hush" topic and do not discuss it at all. This can make teenagers think incorrectly of sex as something that is done secretly since it is a "bad thing" and is also done for their own pleasure--which is perceivably correct in their minds—but seen as improper by those who understand it clearly. If parents could speak about sex and love much more thoroughly and deeply with their children; then their children would grow up understanding that love and sex are both good things--but only when you are with a person that you truly understand and feel pure and sincere love for. So at what age can a teenager recognize true love to be what it is? It can be quite early, but commonly not before the mid-teens (around fifteen). This is for the average teenager--there are other individuals that may recognize true love to be what it is earlier than others (possibly even by reading this). Many teenagers seek to be with someone just so they can be seen with them when they are with their “friends”—seeking for love at young ages can lead to a wrong sense of love. As love isn’t something that is sought, it is felt once it reaches you. So seeking for love does not allow a teenager to understand what true love is—but rather creates a veil that shrouds his own understanding of love (this is common as pre-teens in Middle School often try searching for a person after passing through puberty). When love catches a teenager when he or she hasn’t even been looking for it, and they see that that certain person is unique in their own way—it is certainly possible that both can understand each other and eventually love each other And when they do see true love; they understand the beauty of love as well as sex when done with a person that you trust and have sincere love for. And this leads to the individual caring for himself or herself which allows him/her to have a more clear view on their future as well as the right path in their life. So how difficult is this to understand for teenagers? For many, it can almost never be understood as they have "friends" which aren't true friends at all. Friends that do not understand them for who they are inside as well as what their views upon life are; but instead just see their “outside” and who they pretend to be around them. Friends that act differently outside; not being whom they are inside.

This is why it is crucial for teens to speak what they truly feel and understand in order to acquire true friends that are close and understand them as clearly as they understand themselves. This can be a great influence to both friends; and can allow each person to talk to the other about their problems and can allow each other to understand life in a much more clear and organized way. So with the individual understanding him/herself as what they truly are; they can acquire true friends, and can understand things that may have seemed unclear to them originally. These individuals can grow up with a correct perspective towards life and love, and can understand what love truly is. And this leads to the individual seeing that sex is indeed a beneficial and great thing when done with the person whom you sincerely love and understand, as well as who truly loves you and understands your inner-self. It is then that life becomes clear and organized, and quite beautiful. Make sure that you are this individual who understands everything clearly as it is meant to be so that you can have a clear and organized life.

Please note that I do not talk about all teenagers having incorrect perspectives, as many do have incorrect ones; but there are also many who have correct perspectives.

I would also like to note that I am not trying to seem like some person who thinks he knows everything about sex, love, or society. I am also not defining love as it can be felt when you are in true love; the sincere feeling that you acquire may be true; many will discover it once they see that without that certain partner their life seems to have holes in it. I am not defining anything for that matter within this post, as love can't be strictly defined. I hope that this will allow many individuals to see information that can help them see love and sex through a manner that is different than what is just usually discussed at school or around their neighborhood.